Ways to Say Love
by xxorangemoon
Summary: Because I Love You isn't the only way to say Love, and really, would these two actually ever say it to each other? Themes on saying I love you without really saying I love you. IXR Chapter 2 updated: "Write Back Soon"-Ichigo on long distance relationships.
1. You are Beautiful

Disclaimer: Bleach does not belong to me. Ownership of Tite Kubo.

**Chapter 1: "You are Beautiful" **

I have never been a man of love,

In my fifteen years of life, I have always been indifferent.

But if Love walked into my life,

I'm sure I would know it was Love.

Love has kind eyes and always wears a tender smile.

Love has long wavy hair that falls gently down her back.

Love plays the violin and knows all my favorite Shakespeare sonnets.

But most importantly, Love is always by my side.

Love is never too far from me,

So that I can always protect her.

But when I finally found love,

She had short black hair with eyes as cold as ice.

Love hated the violin and didn't know a lick of Shakespeare.

Love was always trying to run away.

Love was always protecting me-

When I should have been protecting her.

But love grew,

Grew into something I could no longer live without.

Love gave me a purpose.

When Love has had a hard day,

I will tell her, "You are beautiful"

When Love has just finished crying,

I will tell her, "You are beautiful"

When Love has just woken up,

I will tell her, "You are beautiful"

When Love doesn't want to hear it,

"You are beautiful"

When Love doesn't believe it,

"You are beautiful," I will say,

"Don't you ever forget it."

And in return, Love gives me security.

Love sees right through me,

Through the pain and hurt,

And cuts through them all

To pull me up-

To stand next to her, side by side.

Love has changed my world.

And all I can give love,

When loneliness is reflected in her eyes,

When her own self-doubt and inadequacies threaten to consume her,

When her past continues to haunt her,

With conviction in my eyes and all the truth I can muster,

I will give her these words,

"You are beautiful"

And I hope, that is enough.

**Author's Note: **My first attempt at FF. I chose to do a poem, inspired/based off of Sarah Kay's When Love Arrives. To anyone reading this, I would love a review, or any opinion on this.


	2. Write Back Soon

**Author's Note**: Thanks so much for the kind reviews! Reading them really made my day and really encouraged me to put out a new chapter! So sorry for the long wait, right after I finished 'You are Beautiful' we had finals - But now that I'm on break I can finish up lots of chapters, I have lots of ideas I'm excited to share with you all. This chapter is inspired by long distance relationships.

**Disclaimer:** Bleach is not mine.

**Chapter Two: "Write Back Soon." **

"Na, Ichigo, lets write letter to each other"

I look up from the math homework I have been working on from my desk and stare at the raven haired Shinigami looking back at me with wide purple eyes sitting in my closet.

"I don't get it," I reply back.

She looks at me with a playful annoyance, "I said, Lets. Write. Letters. To. Each. Other. Do you get it now Ichigo?"

"I heard what you said . A," I shot back at her, "what I meant was, I don't understand what you mean by asking that."

Her eyes become downcast, and the playfulness in her voice is gone, replaced with a cold seriousness. "What I mean Ichigo is that.." she looks up at me now, but her eyes are unreadable, and my heart quickens, as if knowing that the next words out of her mouth would stop my heart completely.

"I've been put in charge of a new mission so I'm going to be relocated. Since I've accumulated extensive knowledge of the human world, Captian Ukitake has put me in charge of a new unit to patrol Tokyo. It's only a temporary assignment though. I'll be leading the new unit for a couple of months, just until they've gotten use to the human world."

"So Ichigo," Rukia's voice has become softer now, and maybe I was imagining it, but I could hear a bit of embarrassment shaking in her voice, "since we won't be seeing each other for a while, I thought maybe we could keep in contact with each other through letters."

Rukia is looking at me, waiting for a response, I know. But I just couldn't get a word to come out.

It takes my mind a while to process everything that Rukia is saying to me. In my head the word relocate is rewinding itself like a broken record. So, she won't be here with me, next to me, for the next couple of months?

"Well you know, it's a great honor to be in charge of such an important mission," Rukia goes on, "I'm going to be the leader of a team of highly trained Shinigami."

I want to tell her don't go. I want to tell her I hate writing letters, that it's already hard enough to communicate how I feel in a conversation, how could I possibly do it through letters? I want to tell her she belongs in Kurakara, not some large, strange city like Tokyo.

But I know how much this meant to her, how much pride being a Shingami is to her. So I swallow the lump in my throat and I hope that she doesn't notice the stutter in my voice when I respond,

"Sure Rukia, let's write letters to each other."

Whoever said, distance makes the heart grow fonder is total bullshit.

I've tried my best, I really have, but when I start thinking about how you aren't here with me, how I have nothing of you except letters stamped with promises I can't help but feel so lonely.

Instead of holding my hand, you tell me how you held onto the hilt of your sword, so tightly, you could feel the burn of blisters forming.

Instead of walking with me side by side to school, you tell me how you walk, through the narrow sides of city buildings and houses so silently, not even the stars could hear.

You write to me about your nights fighting hollows and I tell you about the days I spend at school. And pretty soon, after days without your voice, days without your touch, these days without you have become normal.

And today I write to you again. But maybe it's the days finally adding up, or maybe it's all the uneasiness I've felt since the moment you left, but today, instead of telling you about how boring class was or how annoying Kon is, instead, the words on my paper read;

_Dear Rukia, _

_I've been searching for you everywhere, but I just can't seem to find you. I've searched in between sentences and underneath pen strokes but the sound of your voice and the touch of your skin are nowhere to be found. 'Would you laugh at me if I told you I was jealous of your pen? It sits so perfectly in-between your fingers and sits so softly in the palm of your hand, I can't help but think that that is where my own fingers should be. _

_I've been searching for you everywhere, but all I seem to find is frustration. Every sentence that I read and every letter that I receive from you are only constant reminders of the distance between you and me. Instead of opening a letter, I want to open my arms and have you fall into me. I want to absorb your very presence just so I can never forget the sound of your laugh, the touch of your skin, and the pain of your kick, because after two months, thirteen days, and twelve hours since you've left, I'm starting to forget. _

And my hands start cramping and my fingers start shaking, as if to tell me to stop, but the words I've kept locked up hidden behind my own handwriting are finally being freed.

_Rukia, I miss you. I miss you like a pulse misses a heartbeat, like how your lungs miss the taste of air after you've had the wind knocked out of you. I miss you like the ocean misses the shore, like how the sun misses the moon. _

_I miss you_

_I miss you_

_I miss you_

_Rukia, I miss you. _

_Come back soon. _

A sudden pulse of reitsu comes floating through my window and I notice the Hell's butterfly that comes precisely at sunset to gather my letter that will be whisked away into the hands that hold the other side of my soul. At the sight of this, my mind makes a 360. The words that I had been so adamant to convey, the words that I had written down with such vigor backed by days of loneliness and frustration stare back at me. How can I send her this letter? I reread my letter again, and I laugh. I sound like such a whiney baby. I could just see Rukia's response. She'd punch me, knock some sense into me like she always does, and call me an idiot for feeling like this only after two months.

She's waiting for me, like I've always been waiting for her. How can I send her a letter that spills all my weakness when she's done nothing but be strong. I know that the day will come when I will be able to see her again, when our worlds will come together again, and I can hold her in my arms again, and that is enough for me right now.

So the letter that I've just written, I crumple it up and stuff it deep within the drawers of my desk and instead I write;

_Dear Rukia, _

_Everything is the same as always over here. School is as boring as ever. There has been little to almost no Hollow activity, so it's been pretty quiet except for Kon. He's been crying nonstop for you. Yuzu and my Old Man miss you, even Karin. Yuzu made the curry you like yesterday and they couldn't help but comment on how it's been so long since you've been gone-not like I've noticed though. Yuzu says when you get back; she'll make sure to make all your favorite dishes. I've got a lot of homework to finish up for tonight, so I'll cut this letter short. Be safe Rukia, _

_Write back soon. _

_Ichigo. _

_xxxxx_

**A.U**: I hope you guys liked it. I've been really into spoken word poetry lately, my inspirations for this one are Sarah Kay's Postcards. It might seem kind of OCC for Ichigo, but I really wanted to convey the sense of longing a long term relationship can have on someone. **Please Review**! I would love any feedback!


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